![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Fandom: Stargate SG1
Genre: Humour
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue
Rating: PG13 for innuendo
Pairing: Jonas/?
~*~
He eyed his paramour hungrily, his gaze caressing the lines of his lover's form. There, hidden behind the thin covering, he could see the proud flesh, curving slightly upwards, just begging for him to taste, nip, lose himself in the heady scent.
His fingers twitched impatiently, but there was no point in rushing this, in having it end too soon. He'd made that mistake before, taking his lover into his mouth too impatiently, the act leading to disaster. It was surprising how messy they could get if he wasn't careful about swallowing, and the mere thought that the rest of SG1 would only have to spot the smear on the collar of his t-shirt to know exactly what he'd been up to - and with whom - had driven him blushing into his office for the rest of the day.
Besides, the act was one to be savoured not rushed, and he intended to enjoy every single, solitary second of it, sliding his lips down over that firm, succulent flesh, inch by tantalising inch, driving himself as wild as his lover.
He reached out, stroked down the firm length in front of him, his fingers dancing over the satiny covering. His fingernails traced along the crease, pressing in and feeling his lover's flesh give slightly beneath his demanding touch. There was only so much foreplay he could stand, and his fingers shook as he leant in closer, nuzzling at the shape beneath the covering.
The sharp, heady scent entranced him, leaping straight to his groin, and he could stand no more. His fingers shook as he peeled the concealing layers apart, his tongue darting out to lap at the moist flesh underneath. It gave slightly under his questing lips and he wasn't sure who moaned.
Impatient now, he rose up, his lips now wrapped around the end of the shaft, tongue sliding in concentric circles around the tip. It was too much, and the flavour of his lover's essence exploded on his tongue. Hungrily now, he slid lower, taking more and more of the jutting column into his mouth, until he could tighten the muscles of his throat around the tip, sliding the flesh in and out of his mouth demandingly.
The sensation appeared to overwhelm his lover and, with a last burst of sensation on his tongue, the flesh gave beneath his touch and he was left with the creamy essence.
He smiled a cheshire cat smile, feeling the firm flesh soften on his tongue, and swallowed before taking one last nibble.
~*~
Jack gaped. There was no other word for it. He stood there, like a statue, sure he could feel the heat from Carter's blush searing his skin, even though she stood at least a foot away from him.
"Um," he said, for once at a loss for words.
"I believe," Teal'c rumbled next to him, "that Jonas Quinn has taken Doctor Fraiser's admonition to eat at least five portions of fruit or vegetables a day to heart."
"Um..." said Jack again, still riveted in place. "Yeah. Definitely... enthusiastic about the old Doc's advice..."
Carter blushed harder, if the wave of heat coming from her direction was any indication.
His mouth finally caught up with events, even if it appeared that his brain was lagging behind. "T... buddy?"
"Yes, O'Neill."
"Remind me not to share that man's rations when we're in the field."
"Indeed." This time there was an undercurrent of humour in the words, and when he turned his head slightly he caught a subtle gleam of amusement in the Jaffa's eyes. Perhaps he hadn't been imagining watching Jonas deep throating a banana, unaware that he was being observed.
Carter's blush seemed to reach incendiary proportions and she made a soft sound that might have been a whimper but could have been a hastily muffled snort of laughter.
"I believe you are correct in your assertion, O'Neill," Teal'c continued reflectively although that gleam was still in his eye. "Jonas Quinn is indeed a man who loves his fruit."
This time there was no mistaking the noise that Carter let out as anything but laughter.
~*~
Now, will someone please fetch that bucket of bleach for my brain? Thank you kindly.
ETA: And no matter what![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
misssimm has to say about it, this is most definitely her fault.
Genre: Humour
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue
Rating: PG13 for innuendo
Pairing: Jonas/?
~*~
He eyed his paramour hungrily, his gaze caressing the lines of his lover's form. There, hidden behind the thin covering, he could see the proud flesh, curving slightly upwards, just begging for him to taste, nip, lose himself in the heady scent.
His fingers twitched impatiently, but there was no point in rushing this, in having it end too soon. He'd made that mistake before, taking his lover into his mouth too impatiently, the act leading to disaster. It was surprising how messy they could get if he wasn't careful about swallowing, and the mere thought that the rest of SG1 would only have to spot the smear on the collar of his t-shirt to know exactly what he'd been up to - and with whom - had driven him blushing into his office for the rest of the day.
Besides, the act was one to be savoured not rushed, and he intended to enjoy every single, solitary second of it, sliding his lips down over that firm, succulent flesh, inch by tantalising inch, driving himself as wild as his lover.
He reached out, stroked down the firm length in front of him, his fingers dancing over the satiny covering. His fingernails traced along the crease, pressing in and feeling his lover's flesh give slightly beneath his demanding touch. There was only so much foreplay he could stand, and his fingers shook as he leant in closer, nuzzling at the shape beneath the covering.
The sharp, heady scent entranced him, leaping straight to his groin, and he could stand no more. His fingers shook as he peeled the concealing layers apart, his tongue darting out to lap at the moist flesh underneath. It gave slightly under his questing lips and he wasn't sure who moaned.
Impatient now, he rose up, his lips now wrapped around the end of the shaft, tongue sliding in concentric circles around the tip. It was too much, and the flavour of his lover's essence exploded on his tongue. Hungrily now, he slid lower, taking more and more of the jutting column into his mouth, until he could tighten the muscles of his throat around the tip, sliding the flesh in and out of his mouth demandingly.
The sensation appeared to overwhelm his lover and, with a last burst of sensation on his tongue, the flesh gave beneath his touch and he was left with the creamy essence.
He smiled a cheshire cat smile, feeling the firm flesh soften on his tongue, and swallowed before taking one last nibble.
~*~
Jack gaped. There was no other word for it. He stood there, like a statue, sure he could feel the heat from Carter's blush searing his skin, even though she stood at least a foot away from him.
"Um," he said, for once at a loss for words.
"I believe," Teal'c rumbled next to him, "that Jonas Quinn has taken Doctor Fraiser's admonition to eat at least five portions of fruit or vegetables a day to heart."
"Um..." said Jack again, still riveted in place. "Yeah. Definitely... enthusiastic about the old Doc's advice..."
Carter blushed harder, if the wave of heat coming from her direction was any indication.
His mouth finally caught up with events, even if it appeared that his brain was lagging behind. "T... buddy?"
"Yes, O'Neill."
"Remind me not to share that man's rations when we're in the field."
"Indeed." This time there was an undercurrent of humour in the words, and when he turned his head slightly he caught a subtle gleam of amusement in the Jaffa's eyes. Perhaps he hadn't been imagining watching Jonas deep throating a banana, unaware that he was being observed.
Carter's blush seemed to reach incendiary proportions and she made a soft sound that might have been a whimper but could have been a hastily muffled snort of laughter.
"I believe you are correct in your assertion, O'Neill," Teal'c continued reflectively although that gleam was still in his eye. "Jonas Quinn is indeed a man who loves his fruit."
This time there was no mistaking the noise that Carter let out as anything but laughter.
~*~
Now, will someone please fetch that bucket of bleach for my brain? Thank you kindly.
ETA: And no matter what
misssimm has to say about it, this is most definitely her fault.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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You are the best perv EVA!!!
/hugs you to itty bitty pieces
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Well, hello there, you. Fancy meeting a nice girl like you in a pervy thread like this. What say you and me ditch the fruit and go out for cocktails instead?
::smoulders::
You are the best perv EVA!!!
Why, thank you. Coming from a true perv like you I consider this to be a high compliment.
::bows::
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Anytime, anyplace, darlin'
And you should know that I would never bestow such a title lightly. You have earned it.
Now, go forth and perv some more!
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Scared of you. [/grissom]
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::sniff::
::peels an orange instead::
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::subsides, twitching::
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That petri-dish derived slut!
::mutters darkly::
I should have known better when hir said hir was retreating to the ice planet for some 'personal space'. It was obviously a secret lovenest for hir ongoing affair with Yoda. Hoth had obviously grown too 'hot' for them.
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And I'm just guessing here...Peter David?
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I know have a *very* large grin on my face! *smooches* (Yes, I know, we haven't been introduced; I'm such a lj slut).
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I'm such a lj slut
Hey, I'm all for lj sluttage.
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...
(is officially scared now)
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There's also Jonas/Notebook if the Banana scares you.
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::backs away slowly::
Mommmmmmmmmy! The scary fen are out to get me! And they have fruit!
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*chases*
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::surrenders::
There's only one thing to do.
Anyone up for some Sam/McKay/lemon porn?
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Woo hoo!
Anyone up for some Sam/McKay/lemon porn?
That sounds like SO much fun.
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Now... if there had been a nice kiwi fruit in the offing...