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Have decided I'm not a fandom whore. I would like to be a fandom whore, but I'm not. I'd like to be one of those self-possessed women who saunters into a fandom, slashes to her heart's content and wanders out again whistling cheerfully and leaving broken hearts in her wake. I'd like to be the kind of woman who drags muses into bed, uses them heartlessly and kicks them out again when she's had enough of them before moving onto the next one. The Linda Fiorentino of the fandom world. The Last Tango in Fandom, butter included.
But nooooo. I have to be Serial Monogamy!Writer. I can't flirt with muses - I have to enter into a committed and long-term relationship. The closest I've come was SW:TPM where I dallied for six months, wrote a couple of short stories then moved on to the New Pros... and that's hardly sluttish behaviour. In fact, it took several months of wooing by the muses, flowers, chocolates, moonlight walks before I succumbed and gave them what they wanted, only to be wooed away by my boys.
And once I've moved on I don't date exes. Can't. Oh to be able to sneak off for an afternoon to a sleazy motel for a roll in the hay for old times sake. The closest, and only time, I've been able to do that is a little h/c flirting with Chris yesterday, and I'm terrified Jack and Daniel will find out and there will be a scene.
I keep peering wistfully over the fence at Dylan and Harper, cast longing glances back at Sam and Chris and yet sit there, politely being faithful to Daniel and Jack and tell myself that monogamy is important, that I'm not missing out by keeping to these old fashioned morals and there's nothing satisfying about hot, sweaty one night stands. That fandom whores don't have more fun. I don't really believe me.
Oh, to be a fandom whore.
But nooooo. I have to be Serial Monogamy!Writer. I can't flirt with muses - I have to enter into a committed and long-term relationship. The closest I've come was SW:TPM where I dallied for six months, wrote a couple of short stories then moved on to the New Pros... and that's hardly sluttish behaviour. In fact, it took several months of wooing by the muses, flowers, chocolates, moonlight walks before I succumbed and gave them what they wanted, only to be wooed away by my boys.
And once I've moved on I don't date exes. Can't. Oh to be able to sneak off for an afternoon to a sleazy motel for a roll in the hay for old times sake. The closest, and only time, I've been able to do that is a little h/c flirting with Chris yesterday, and I'm terrified Jack and Daniel will find out and there will be a scene.
I keep peering wistfully over the fence at Dylan and Harper, cast longing glances back at Sam and Chris and yet sit there, politely being faithful to Daniel and Jack and tell myself that monogamy is important, that I'm not missing out by keeping to these old fashioned morals and there's nothing satisfying about hot, sweaty one night stands. That fandom whores don't have more fun. I don't really believe me.
Oh, to be a fandom whore.
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