![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Gmail is being a bitch and not letting me send mail. Consequently, I cannot send Leah copies of any rejection letters and if I try to continue validating fic without the ability to send her copies of rejection letters, I will get very, very confused by what I have sent and what I haven't.
Well, that's my excuse for bailing, and I'm sticking to it.
::virtuous look::
Consequently, I'm doing the only thing that any sane and sensible person would do in the same circumstances.
Throwing a porn par-TAY in my el-JAY! Bring the champagne, people. But most importantly... bring the porn. Yes, people. Porn. Whatever porn you like.
Let's party like it's nineteen sixty-nine!
So... Sam/John/Rodney threesome anyone?
~*~
There has never been any doubt in Rodney's mind that Colonel Doctor Samantha Carter is hot. Seriously hot. As in 'seriously out of Rodney's league' hot.
She's smart too - although, obviously, not as smart as Rodney. That just adds to the overall attractiveness of the package but he's shallow enough to admit that since he doesn't know her that well on a personal level (and won't admit to any jealous appreciation of her skills on a professional level), in reality, it's mostly about the 'hot'.
And who can blame him? As well as being smart and sharp of tongue and wit, she's all bouncy, perky breasts and blonde curls, at least when her hair has grown out a little past regulation length.
Rodney's learned to appreciate hair that isn't quite chopped as short as it should be. It makes for something to hold onto when a talented mouth is wrapped around your dick and sucking your extremely talented brain out through it. Something to run your fingers through when that talented tongue slides into your mouth and wraps itself around your tongue instead.
Rodney has a thing for talented mouths as well as talented brains.
Samantha's mouth is talented but he'd never actually thought he'd ever see her put that talented mouth to use on anything but putting him firmly in his place. And for all that he'd... well, fantasised about Colonel Doctor Carter (both in her BDUs and in this cute, mid-thigh length white labcoat and nothing else, because Rodney is a traditionalist when it comes to the pornographic picture shows in his head), he'd never thought that any of those fantasies would come to fruition.
He'd never thought that he'd actually see her naked. Let alone naked and with her oh so very red and hot and glistening mouth wrapped around the cock of his other favourite fantasy.
But then John is nothing but persuasive, especially when it comes to the 'fairer' sex and apparently those persuasive skills even work on someone as smart and hot as Sam Carter. Rodney shouldn't be too surprised.
After all, they worked on him.
John's smart too. Very smart beneath the hair and the devil may care attitude. Smart enough to suggest this. Smart enough to engineer this - he and John naked with an equally naked Samantha Carter between them.
He's spoilt for choice, because there's Sam. Sam Carter with her brains and breasts and curves that would almost be enough to put him on the straight and narrow again, emphasis on 'straight'. But then there's John, with his smile and his hands, and his eyes that turn green in the dim light when he turns to smile at Rodney, and the uncurvy, hairy body that Rodney would never in a million years have expected to find sexy, but does anyway.
And a cock that's curving upwards as Sam raises her head and lets it slide out of her mouth with a soft, wet 'pop'.
Finding the cock sexy was a revelation. Liking to slide his hand along it, feeling the soft skin of it under his fingers even as it hardens beneath his touch, that was a hell of a surprise.
It's wet with her spit now, and his fingers slide easily along the length, John's hips arching up off the bed as he pushes into Rodney's grip in a rhythm that should be surprising in its familiarity but which isn't. Not any more.
It's surprising Sam though, her mouth opening in a smeared, pink 'oh'. He wants to wipe his thumb over the soft curve of her bottom lip and smear her lipstick further. He wants to kiss her, taste John's precome on her tongue.
He wants to fuck her, or John, or maybe both - fuck John while John fucks her and her short fingernails dig into their skin. The idea is incredibly hot and calculations fly through his head even as John's cock slips through his fingers; angles and trajectories and feats of engineering that will let him have both of them at the same time because he's discovering now that he's just greedy like that.
But first he lowers his head, and tastes Samantha on John rather than the other way around.
They'll figure something out. There are two hot and smart people in his bed, and two hot and smart people hot for him. But since he's not the one who's currently having his brain sucked out through his dick or fried by the sight of one man going down on another (and she whimpered, she actually whimpered when she saw that), he can put his brain to good use trying to decide which of the hot and smart people in his bed he's going to fuck first.
~*~
And, typically, while I was writing this, Gmail got up and running again, so I can no longer shirk my responsibilities.
Well, except for that one fic. That one I'm cheerfully palming off on Leah, cos she saw it first ::beam::
Well, that's my excuse for bailing, and I'm sticking to it.
::virtuous look::
Consequently, I'm doing the only thing that any sane and sensible person would do in the same circumstances.
Throwing a porn par-TAY in my el-JAY! Bring the champagne, people. But most importantly... bring the porn. Yes, people. Porn. Whatever porn you like.
Let's party like it's nineteen sixty-nine!
So... Sam/John/Rodney threesome anyone?
~*~
There has never been any doubt in Rodney's mind that Colonel Doctor Samantha Carter is hot. Seriously hot. As in 'seriously out of Rodney's league' hot.
She's smart too - although, obviously, not as smart as Rodney. That just adds to the overall attractiveness of the package but he's shallow enough to admit that since he doesn't know her that well on a personal level (and won't admit to any jealous appreciation of her skills on a professional level), in reality, it's mostly about the 'hot'.
And who can blame him? As well as being smart and sharp of tongue and wit, she's all bouncy, perky breasts and blonde curls, at least when her hair has grown out a little past regulation length.
Rodney's learned to appreciate hair that isn't quite chopped as short as it should be. It makes for something to hold onto when a talented mouth is wrapped around your dick and sucking your extremely talented brain out through it. Something to run your fingers through when that talented tongue slides into your mouth and wraps itself around your tongue instead.
Rodney has a thing for talented mouths as well as talented brains.
Samantha's mouth is talented but he'd never actually thought he'd ever see her put that talented mouth to use on anything but putting him firmly in his place. And for all that he'd... well, fantasised about Colonel Doctor Carter (both in her BDUs and in this cute, mid-thigh length white labcoat and nothing else, because Rodney is a traditionalist when it comes to the pornographic picture shows in his head), he'd never thought that any of those fantasies would come to fruition.
He'd never thought that he'd actually see her naked. Let alone naked and with her oh so very red and hot and glistening mouth wrapped around the cock of his other favourite fantasy.
But then John is nothing but persuasive, especially when it comes to the 'fairer' sex and apparently those persuasive skills even work on someone as smart and hot as Sam Carter. Rodney shouldn't be too surprised.
After all, they worked on him.
John's smart too. Very smart beneath the hair and the devil may care attitude. Smart enough to suggest this. Smart enough to engineer this - he and John naked with an equally naked Samantha Carter between them.
He's spoilt for choice, because there's Sam. Sam Carter with her brains and breasts and curves that would almost be enough to put him on the straight and narrow again, emphasis on 'straight'. But then there's John, with his smile and his hands, and his eyes that turn green in the dim light when he turns to smile at Rodney, and the uncurvy, hairy body that Rodney would never in a million years have expected to find sexy, but does anyway.
And a cock that's curving upwards as Sam raises her head and lets it slide out of her mouth with a soft, wet 'pop'.
Finding the cock sexy was a revelation. Liking to slide his hand along it, feeling the soft skin of it under his fingers even as it hardens beneath his touch, that was a hell of a surprise.
It's wet with her spit now, and his fingers slide easily along the length, John's hips arching up off the bed as he pushes into Rodney's grip in a rhythm that should be surprising in its familiarity but which isn't. Not any more.
It's surprising Sam though, her mouth opening in a smeared, pink 'oh'. He wants to wipe his thumb over the soft curve of her bottom lip and smear her lipstick further. He wants to kiss her, taste John's precome on her tongue.
He wants to fuck her, or John, or maybe both - fuck John while John fucks her and her short fingernails dig into their skin. The idea is incredibly hot and calculations fly through his head even as John's cock slips through his fingers; angles and trajectories and feats of engineering that will let him have both of them at the same time because he's discovering now that he's just greedy like that.
But first he lowers his head, and tastes Samantha on John rather than the other way around.
They'll figure something out. There are two hot and smart people in his bed, and two hot and smart people hot for him. But since he's not the one who's currently having his brain sucked out through his dick or fried by the sight of one man going down on another (and she whimpered, she actually whimpered when she saw that), he can put his brain to good use trying to decide which of the hot and smart people in his bed he's going to fuck first.
~*~
And, typically, while I was writing this, Gmail got up and running again, so I can no longer shirk my responsibilities.
Well, except for that one fic. That one I'm cheerfully palming off on Leah, cos she saw it first ::beam::
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
From:
Yay, Porn!!
---
"John, what are you doing?"
John pushes Rodney back against what might be a sink. "Rodney," he whispers, shoving a leg between Rodney's thighs. "I just--"
Rodney grabs John's arms. "We can't--we're in a bathroom for god's--"
John's lips are hot and wet and they cover Rodney's mouth, swallowing whatever protest was coming next. Rodney can feel John's erection against his thigh and fuck it, he grabs John's ass and crushes him in close.
What did this weird-assed aliens expect, anyway, leading them down hallways adored with decorative images of naked men, naked hot men, naked men with great big hard dicks, doing things to other naked men with big hard dicks.
A celebration of manhood, they called it.
Rodney called it porn.
Good porn. Porn like John's busy mouth and even busier tongue, porn like the soft noises John made as he clutche at Rodney's shoulders. "Jeeze, Rodney," John pants against his cheek. "Let me fuck you. Right now. We can be fast. No one will know."
Rodney's mouth goes dry at John's words, because yeah, he wants that, he always wants it. "Okay, okay, okay, let me just" and his hands are at his pants, trying to unbutton as fast as he can, while John unbuttons his own. Then John glances up and meets Rodney's eyes, and John is grinning a big stupid grin. Rodney grins back, it's as if they are horny teenagers instead of intergalactic explorers but Rodney figures if they go out exploring different galaxies the least they can do is fuck in an alien bathroom, especially with the way John's dick is hard and red and Rodney knows how damn good it is going to feel in his ass.
"I got stuff, here, turn around." John brandishes a tube of petroleum jelly.
Pants shoved down around his ankles, and Rodney turns around, gripping the edge of the basin. "I hope to god this is a sink, and not the toilet," he says, prompted something suspiciously close to giggles from John. Then he gasps as slippery fingers penetrate him, first one, then two. "Oh god, yes, yes, yes--fuck, that's good, just go on--"
"Wait, you're tight," John tells him.
"Of course I am, we're nuts for doing this in the first place, I'm not exactly going to relax and oh god oh god oh god--"
John pushes inside and Rodney pushes back into the burn, he's tense and wound up tight and it's good, so damn dirty, both still mostly dressed, still in his boots, his jacket and the scrape of John's watch against his stomach as John hugs him close and sucks on his neck. "This good?" John asks.
"It's good, yes yes, very good." Stretched and full, John's cock is buried all the way up his ass, of course it's good and it gets even better when John begin to stroke his cock with a greased hand. "Real good," Rodney adds with a whimper.
Hard steady strokes, matched by hard, steady thrusts, and it's over all to quickly. John's cock rubs Rodney in all the right places, and when he squeezes the head of Rodney's cock, Rodney comes all over his hand. Then John grabs Rodney's hip and pumps hard, cock pounding into Rodney and short gasping breaths that end in a choked cry as John stiffens and comes. His cock pulses inside of Rodney again and again until finally he slumps against Rodney's back. "Oh god, I think I'm gonna faint," he mumbles.
"You can't," Rodney hisses, and John starts to laugh again.
"Okay, then I won't."
It strikes Rodney as funny, too, and amidst little bursts of laughter they pull themselves together, pausing for one luscious, sated kiss. A quick wash, and they're ready to face dinner.
"All freshened up?" John asks, pausing with his hand on the doorknob.
"Very fresh." Rodney doesn't point out that John looks like he just got laid, with that smirky little smile, because he probably has the same stupid little smile on his own face.
They head back out to meet their hosts. And spend all of dinner trying to not laugh again.
From:
Re: Yay, Porn!!
How good of alyse to give you a reason. Wow, was this hot. And laughter. I love post-coital laughter.
From:
Re: Yay, Porn!!
I wrote that in about ten minutes flat, because we had to go and meet friends for dinner--I didn't even get a chance to look it over, and I had no idea what I'd see this morning when I looked at it! LOL! Thankfully, no too many typos. And thank you, sweetie, I'm glad you liked it.
From:
Re: Yay, Porn!!
But wouldn't that be messy? I mean at least if they pull their pants down... it's a little less messy.
I obviously overthink these things too much ::g::
From:
Re: Yay, Porn!!
From:
Re: Yay, Porn!!
Hot and dirty and oh so sweet. My favourite flavour of porn.
From:
Re: Yay, Porn!!
I think the porn party was a damn good idea. *g*
From:
Re: Yay, Porn!!